A not so perfect vacation
by Rufus J ShinRa1
Summary: Once again our favorite newlyweds Cloud and Tifa have a nice romantic getaway at a cabin in the mountains. But once again our favorite villans Hojo,Sephiroth and Rufus make the same plans. The sequal to a not so perfect night out. Plus a suprise FF6 guest


  
  
  
  
  
A not so perfect vacation. The sequal to a not so perfect night out.  
  
  
  
  
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]  
  
  
[Tifa is on Cloud's lap kissing him]  
  
  
Tifa: You know ever since our honeymoon 3 months ago we haven't been on a vacation.  
  
Cloud: Let's take a vacation up in the Icicle inn mountains on the north continent.  
  
Tifa: Yeah just you and me...we can go snowboarding and make love in a nice warm cabin...  
  
Cloud: I'M THERE!  
  
  
  
[Shinra HQ]  
  
  
Rufus: Say guys...  
  
Sephiroth: What?  
  
Rufus: There is a nice little mountain house where you can take a vacation. I made reservations for myself and I'm leaving Reno in charge of the nation. You guy's wanna come?  
  
Hojo: Hell yeah!!!!!  
  
Rufus: The chopper will take us there.  
  
  
[Mountain cabin]  
  
Cloud: [COme's in carrying the luggage and Tifa] We made it love. [Put's Tifa down and drops the luggage.]  
  
Tifa: I'm tired from the trip here.  
  
Cloud: I'm go to bed.  
  
Tifa: I'll come with you! [They both go into the bedroom]  
  
  
[Rufus,Hojo and Sephiroth enter]  
  
Hojo: Hey you guy's I'm gonna checkout the bedroom.  
  
Rufus: Be back soon. [Hojo enters the bedroom]  
  
Hojo: Oh my god Cloud and Tifa Strife are in here and thier having sex!!!  
  
Cloud: The hell are you doing here?  
  
Rufus: Likewise Strife!  
  
Hojo: Ummm...Rufus. This cabin is ment for two groups of people. There are three more bedrooms.  
  
Rufus: Okay! We're spending the month together. BUT we have to stay out of each other's rooms.  
  
Tifa: [Covering herself up] Fine. Now get out.  
  
Sephiroth: Man just watching that makes me wanna watch the playboy channel.  
  
  
[Cabin's card game room]  
  
  
Rufus: Cut he deck.  
  
Sephiroth: Okie dokie. [Sephiroth cut's the deck]  
  
Rufus: A queen and 3 aces.  
  
Sephiroth: Wha? I never lose.  
  
Rufus: [Impersonating Goldfinger] You lose Mr.Bond  
  
Sephiroth: Hey that's not funny!  
  
Hojo: C'mon what are you waiting for? Christmas?  
  
Rufus: Sorry don't belive in holiness.  
  
Hojo: Hmph.  
  
Sephiroth: Hey look who's here.  
  
Cloud: Just getting a bath towel.   
  
Rufus: How bout ya die in the bathtub?  
  
Cloud: How about I whip your pampered little ass?  
  
Rufus: WHO ARE YOU CALLING PAMPERED???  
  
Cloud: Calling you.  
  
Rufus: [Hair sticks up in anger] I AM NOT!!!  
  
Cloud: Quit whining!  
  
Rufus: I'm not whining!  
  
Cloud: Whine,Whine,Whine.  
  
Rufus: Shut up!  
  
Cloud: Screw you guys! I'm going snowboarding!  
  
Sephiroth: Then I shall come to reclaim somthing.  
  
Cloud: No villans.  
  
Sephiroth: Hey I was voted the best looking villan in FFVII!  
  
Rufus: THE HELL YOU WERE!!!!!!! [Tackles Sephiroth]  
  
Sephiroth: [draws Masamune sword] Hyah!   
  
Rufus: [Pulls out shotgun and cocks it]  
  
Sephiroth: Take this prettyboy! [Slashes down on Rufus]  
  
Rufus: [Masamune knocks away shotgun] Damn!  
  
Sephiroth: I have you!  
  
Rufus: [Kicks Sephiroth out the window and follows]  
  
Sephiroth: ??? [Get's jhit in the face with a chunk of Ice and Sephiroth drops the Masamune off a nearby cliff] NO!!!!!!!!!!! [Sobs]  
  
Hojo: Hey don't take it so hard.  
  
Sephiroth: ...  
  
  
  
[Snow cliffs]  
  
  
Tifa: I think we can snowboard all the way to icicle inn.  
  
Cloud: Let's go! [Rufus,Sephiroth and Hojo appear]  
  
Sephiroth: [Looks at map] Now if my calculations are correct if we go south we'll reach icicle inn and shop for some food for the cabin...  
  
Cloud: Hey we're snowboarding down to icicle inn and getting the food!  
  
Sephiroth: Ha! We shall go shopping before you do! [Pulls out a snowmobile for 3] C'mon boys let's ride!  
  
Rufus&Hojo: Wooooh!!!!  
  
Cloud: [Pulls out a snowmobile for 2] Get them....  
  
Tifa: let's go! [They start going down on the hill]  
  
Rufus: They're gaining on us!!!   
  
Hojo: [Pulls out a needle] If I give Cloud this shot his sperm count will rapidly decrease eliminating the chance of him and Tifa from ever having kids!  
  
Sephiroth: Nah let's just kill them. [Pulls out a brand new Masamune]  
  
Rufus: [Throws grenade from snowmobile]   
  
Cloud: Watch out! [Dodges blast]  
  
Rufus: Dammit!   
  
Tifa: Take this! [Throws S-mine at the snowmobile]  
  
Rufus: Oh Fuc-[Snowmobile blows up]  
  
  
  
[Cabin]  
  
[Rufus,Sephiroth and Hojo are sitting at a table scorched from the blast]  
  
  
Rufus: ugh......  
  
Sephiroth: That...hurt.  
  
Hojo: Painful.....  
  
Cloud: Ha! Ha! we won.  
  
Tifa: [ put's log on fire] There that ought to keep all of us warm.   
Rufus: I'm going outside for a drink.  
  
  
  
  
[Outside]  
  
  
Rufus: ..... [Someone steps out of the shadows and a weird theme plays] Who's that?  
  
Kefka: Wahahahahhahahaaha!  
  
Rufus: Who are you?  
  
Kefka: Someone who will help you get Cloud&Tifa out of the cabin.  
  
Rufus: I'm intrested please go on.  
  
Kefka: I'll help you get'em out and you and the other FFVII villans can play poker all you want.  
  
Rufus: What's your price?  
  
Kefka: You must pay me 30,000 GP.  
  
Rufus: You mean Gil?  
  
Kefka: Whatever! Oh by the way my chochobo got knocked down. Do you have any Fenix down's?  
  
Rufus: You mean Pheniox down?  
  
Kefka: Whatever you 3D Final Fantasy guy's call them.  
  
Rufus: Okay I'll send the SHinra army in too.  
  
Kefka: Nah. Your government dosen't go to my taste. We'll deal with them alongside Sephiroth and Hojo.  
  
Rufus: Kay.  
  
Kefka: LET'S GO!  
  
  
  
[Cabin]  
  
  
Kefka: [Knocks down door] Welcome to my world!  
  
Cloud: And you are?  
  
Kefka: The villan from FF6.  
  
Cloud: I'll take you on any day.  
  
Kefka: Ha! I have some Espers to make short work of you!  
  
Rufus: You mean Materia?  
  
Kefka: WHATEVER!!!  
  
Sephiroth: [Draws masamune]  
  
Tifa: WHere does he keep getting those?  
  
  
[FF6 boss theme plays]  
  
  
Cloud: TAKE THEM OUT!  
  
  
Rufus: GO!!!!! [Fires Shotgun]  
  
Tifa: [Tackles Rufus]   
  
Rufus: [Drops Shotgun and punches Tifa]   
  
Tifa: Final Hevean!!!! [Tifa does Final Hevean on Rufus knocking him through the window]  
  
Kefka: Take this!!! Fallen one!  
  
Sephiroth: You mean unforgiving angel?  
  
Kefka: JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!   
  
Sephiroth: Make me.  
  
Kefka: Grrrr. [Walks away from Sephiroth and draws a sword and attacks Cloud]  
  
Cloud: Ugh....Sephiroth?  
  
Sephiroth: What?  
  
Cloud: I know we're enimies but I'll strike you a good deal.  
  
Sephiroth: What will you give me?  
  
Cloud: You,Rufus and Hojo can have a new deck of cards.  
  
Sephiroth: SOLD! [Walks up to Kefka and kills him the same way he killed Aeris]  
  
Rufus: It's...not...over...yet.  
  
Sephiroth: We made a deal with them for a new deck of cards.  
  
Hojo: Yeah!  
  
CLoud&Tifa: [They go into thier room and start making out]  
  
Rufus: Ummmm....let's let our arch enmies have some privacy in the cabin.  
  
Sephiroth: I know the perfect place to stay!  
  
  
  
[The North cave]  
  
Jenova: [Wearing a aporon over her tentecles] And here's some cookies for you three boys.  
  
Rufus: [A Jenova monster jumps out of his cookie and crawls down his throat] Ahhhh!!!! It's eating me alive!  
  
Hojo: That's our silly President!!! [Hojo and Sephiroth laugh]  
  
  
The End  
  
  
Please Review!  
  
  
  
  
  
How did you like the sequal? I wrote this story as a sequal to a not so perfect night out because of it's success I'm thinking about making this series a trilogy. See ya!  
-Rufus  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
